Perception of Reality in Relationships.

How do you change your perception of reality? Every part of your emotional reality is a projection. Your emotions colour every experience. Your emotional reaction to what happens projects that very energy onto the very thing you are reacting to. This perception is what creates your relationship with others and your environment. Let us focus on our relationships with others and how we perceive them.

If someone continually behaves in a certain manner towards you, you form a perception of them based upon your experience with them. You come to believe them to be a certain way. This belief will manifest certain internal or external emotional reactions within yourself. Every time you react – you strengthen your belief in this perception of them and you also either energetically or actually strengthen their belief in their perception of themselves. In relationships patterns begin to form between people and these patterns once they become ingrained may reach out into other relationships as that particular energy begins to build. 

You can change what you receive from other people, by seeing beyond the surface reactions. So, how do you do this? Here I would like to note our aim is not to ‘change’ people, but to inspire the best in them to experience a more fulfilling and connected relationship. Your emotional projections and expectations have power! You can choose what image you would like to project onto the people in your life. I find it best to create these projections during meditation, when I can center my mind and place my full emotional focus upon creating the desired image, however with more awareness and personal power you can do this whilst interacting with these people. It is wise to accept situations as they occur and focus upon creating a new projection in your meditation space. If someone has a firmly ingrained emotional reaction then it will take time to change.

The idea is that you present other people with a new image of self, a new mirror, by perceiving them differently. I find that by creating the energies in meditation before relating with a specific person, I literally put energy behind me. The key to the process is really believing in what you are projecting. This appears to be easy when working with negatives, but proves difficult at times when you are continually tested with a certain behavior in another person. 

So what do you want to experience with people? 

Step One

Choose someone you would like to work with.

Step Two

Note which behavior you would most like to change in them and what instead you would like to experience through them.

Step Three

Mentally take yourself into that space where they are playing out the negative behavior. Now in this space take your attention off their behavior and into your own self. How do you feel? What is your reaction? What is your ‘behavior’ in return. Feel your emotions, honor them and accept responsibility for them. Why does their behavior produce this reaction? Can you come to understand yourself? What is happening? What thoughts, beliefs and feelings are you holding onto that is preventing you from flowing freely through this situation in acceptance? Step Four involves taking responsibility for your emotions and processing them yourself without projecting blame onto the other person and defining and colouring them in a particular light. Step Four is about beginning to change yourself as opposed to the other person. 

Step Five

Look at the other person. Look at their behavior  Ask yourself, what energy is behind that behavior? Why do they react in that way? Is it through a lack of trust, feelings of insecurity or self doubt. Self punishment through lack of self worth or do they feel ugly or undeserving. Are they lonely, disconnected or suffering some illness? Is there fear, an inability to communicate or share? Here there is no right or wrong answer as what you see is what you project and it is your projection/perception that we are wanting to change. So choose to work with the projection you see most clearly in this other person.

Step Six

Self Awareness – Do you see that energy, not the behavior, but the energy behind the behavior, in yourself? In what way does it manifest in you?

Step Seven

Decide what new energy you would like to project. This is a gift that you offer to the other person and as you create it and experience it you receive it also within yourself. So choose an energy – Self worth, receptivity, trust, surrender, peace, love, openness, forgiveness. Or choose an image and note the emotions that build the whole picture. Note here that you are not interfering with another person – you are healing your perception of them!

Step Eight.

Enter meditation and begin to visualise this person in a new light. Imagine them as this new strong person, see them experience the new emotions, imagine how they would feel, how they would act and behave. Visualise their posture, how they relate to their world and other people. Take the full force of your emotional power into this situation. If you are creating confidence, feel that confidence in yourself and project it onto the other person, seeing them in your mind as a confident strong person, imagining them taking new decisive actions and behaving in a manner that displays that confidence. Or if you want them to be more accepting, you imagine their body softening and their posture becoming open and receptive, you see them loving and embracing you, you see them in a state of acceptance and experience your reaction to this new behavior as if it were real. The Key to this is to really believe and really feel your projection. If you don’t, then see yourself believing, see your body acting as if it believes, Imagine yourself really feeling and connecting with the process and being good at it. 

Step Nine

What do you do if your negative feelings are so strong that you cannot create and expect the positive? Keep at it and work from where you are at. Honestly look at the steps you need to take in order to change yourself and experience a better relationship with this chosen other. Choose an energy you can work with. Use your emotional strengths to take you closer to the energy you would like to experience. For example in a love relationship, there may be a need to focus on forgiveness and patience before you can create romance. Or you may need to create romance in order to focus on forgiveness. You may need to focus on creating emotional release, connection and communication to create harmony and peace, But you can also create harmony and peace to create release and communication. You may need to create support, security and stability before creating freedom and pleasure. Or you may focus on Freedom and Spontaneity to encourage a belief in security. You may need to create personal space and boundaries, before creating personal power, communication and understanding. There are no set rules or emotional formula, you simply have to work from where you are at and build your new picture of self gradually. Over time your perception of self and other will change as your meditations manifest and your expectations and beliefs alter.

Step Ten

Notice the changes in your reality and take every opportunity to act in faith of that which you are creating. Your action confirms your beliefs and accelerates your manifestations. However, there is no need to rush or force the process, your patience is also an action that confirms your trust in the process.


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